the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
