I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
