i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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