Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
