How drunk are you??
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober