So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something