woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
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you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand