At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
