I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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