he shaved USA in his pubs
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...