At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.