Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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