He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
