I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
