Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Drake has all the answers
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
