You really coming over, don't trick.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
