So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
