I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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