Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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