Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
