coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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