dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
