I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
