someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
honey bunches of taint.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
