After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
