WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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