need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
