just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
