I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize