No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Still dying that you shit outside
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
