Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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