i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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