just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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