My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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