My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
