I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
