my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
