Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
