dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
