I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im holly from the hills drunk
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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