planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
