I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
