we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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