she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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