Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So much rum. So many feels.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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