trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am available for nakedness
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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