Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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