i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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