Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
