Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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