My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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