sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
