Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
