We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
