Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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