How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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