She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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