I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
