Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
