8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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