currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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