it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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