you traded sex for a burrito?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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