tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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