Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize