I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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