hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
