Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
