so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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