so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
