don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize